Thinking

Today started the official packing up the baby stuff I have. I decided that there was real no reason to keep it around anymore, and waste very much needed storage space. A friend of mine is pregnant, and I'll be giving her as much of it as I can, since she wont know the gender until birth I'm trying to get the most of boy-girl stuff that I can find in all my bags.

I'm not going to lie it's kind of sad to be packing up all the little tiny newborn clothes. Brings me back to when my son was that small. Then I start thinking that I will probably never hold another baby that small that is my own.

I don't understand why I am having such a difficult time tonight. We have been distracted with getting ready for the upcoming rabbit show season that I have had very little time to think, but tonight bam the depression is back in full force.

I really should not complain, and I feel almost selfish doing it. I was able to bring one beautiful little boy in this world and others are not even able to have one.

I will say I do feel rather good that I am able to help a friend out. So at least I know I'm not completely selfish.

I think maybe I should really throw myself into excersising, and working on my weight loss goal. I'd like to be back at 140 which was my weight three years ago, but i would really like to be 130 if i could get to that. I think instead of concentrating on sad things, i should put myself first for once, and concentrate on my health/.

A ehh mommy (Jenna)